Conrad Productions Clients - The South Shields Boys

*This is the story of how the song "A Man Went To His Doctors"* came to be recorded. But first, a few basic facts about the South Shields Boys.**

Why are they called the South Shields Boys?
Well, that's simple - they come from South Shields!

OK! I understand how they got their name, but what about this song "A Man Went To His Doctors"?
Well, it all began one September evening. The South Shields Boys were paying one of their usual social visits to Alnwick Street Studios, famous for the Jowls recordings, to see their old mate, producer Mick McGarr.

I'm following you, go on.
Well, one of the South Shields Boys asked Mick: "How do they make records and that, like, what gets in the charts and goes on Top Of The Pops and stuff"?


		To demonstrate the technique, Mick asked one of the South Shields Boys, Ian Dennell (pictured left), known as "Radge" beer-wise, to pick a rude rugby joke from his Rude Rugby Joke book, take it into the studio vocal booth and read the lyrics out in as many different voices as he could think of.

Mick recorded his efforts onto tape, along with some sexy-sexy sounds and an Indian doctor's voice provided by Davie Kerton (pictured right).

(Davie Kerton - known as "Syrup" beer-wise - has his own page about his Reliant Regal car).

The South Shields Boys finished the last of the tea and went back home to South Shields.

Yes, yes, I see, but it's not really a hit record is it?
Well, just wait a minute and I'll tell you what happened next. Mick sampled the first couple of seconds of an ancient psychedelic record he had, called "Deep Inside Your Mind", then looped it to form the main groove, over which the previous mutterings by the South Shields Boys were added, telling the rude rugby joke from the Rude Rugby Joke book.

So, that's how it's done, hmm, is there any more?
Well, yes, just a few strange facts, spooky, you might say.

Go on.
Well, years later Mick was in a recording studio when a bloke called Hilton Valentine, who used to play guitar for the '60s band "The Animals" was recording an album.

Big deal! not exactly Sir Cliff!
Ssshhh! Well, much later Mick looked at the record of "Deep Inside Your Mind" and found not only was it produced by this Hilton Valentine bloke, but the singer was called Keith SHIELDS and they were both from Newcastle. Now explain that with your science!

Yes, yes, you're right. This means the Powers Of The Universe must have willed this record to be made.
And be a hit!

Well... err... let's have a look at the words to this rude rugby joke from your Rude Rugby Jokes book.

A man went to his doctors, complaining of a pain in his member. The doctor examined him, and said: "You can't be healthy without sex, what are you getting?" The patient explained that he had a young lady, and went to the woods with her, twice a week. "Yes, and does your member burn after intercourse?" "I don't know doctor, I've never put a match to it."

Ha, bloody ha! What's it sound like?
Brilliant! Take a listen. Just click below to hear the track.